Monday, December 21, 2009
As I reflect on this past year, I can say for certain there is one thing that was consistent through out the year. My realization that I am old. I am 45 yrs old and I now know at what point I became old. As a child, you looked at adults and you thought to yourself, wow that person is old. Now being a child you did not know their age. By their actions and words you judged them as old. As I became and adult, over the age of 18 yrs old, I thought old was somewhere in your sixties. As I grew into my twenties I rethought that theory and old was in your seventies. In my infinite wisdom of my thirties, old was surely in your eighties.
Now I am 45 yrs old and I ache when I get out of bed. I thought you were suppose to be rested and ready to hit the floor running in the morning. Somewhere between 40 and 45 yrs old, my body hit the floor if I tried running. The only good nights rest I get is when I take a couple Tylenol PM and even that isn't enough to prevent my dogs snoring from waking me up occasionally during the night.
I am not sure what is worse my fluctuating hormones or my poor vision. I need a shirt warning people my moods change every few minutes. If they don't like my mood wait a few minutes, it will change. I use to be a person that let things roll of my back. I accepted the fact some people would not like me for who I am. Now I find my feelings getting hurt if someone is upset with me or doesn't like me. I think to myself, who are you? Now I understand married mens midlife crisis, they are freaking out about the stranger that is suppose to be their wife. To top it all off I am having trouble reading small print. I know I need bifocals, but have been resisting this aging process. I love to read and this aging process is making it more difficult. Next thing you know, I will be listening to books on tape and having my kids read the ingredients list on food cartons.
In ten weeks I will be a grandmother. I look forward to this aging process. This aging process comes with benefits. Spoiling your grandchild rotten! With age comes patience, something I have developed over the years. I'm not so sure if it's patience or too tired to argue. Although, depending on my hormonal mood, I might argue for the sake of arguing. I'll end this with my favorite motto, "Growing old is inevitable, but growing up is optional".