Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Since my mothers automobile accident, she has been acting a little different. Normally, my mom has the social graces to leave her personal opinions to herself. I know, your asking your self what happened to me. It's not so much her personal opinions are bad, it's how she is expressing them. My mother had the grace to smile and accept a gift, finding something positive to say about it. At her 71st birthday this last week, my sister gave her a throw for her couch. My mothers commented, "oh, this won't match at all". My sister who has the eye of a decorator said, "yes it will mom, I checked". My mom, in turned replied "trust me it won't". OUCH! My mom has an opinion and is not afraid to use it.
She also received a pre lit fake Christmas tree from my sister. Mind you, my mother has been wanting one, because it is so difficult to find a way to get a real one every year. Late in the week, my sister called to see how the tree looked. My mom exclaimed, it's ugly, in a fit of giggles with her friend that was visiting. My sister asked her to repack the tree and she would pick it up. Her feelings were hurt. When my sister called to vent to me, I could not help but wonder what had happened to my diplomatic mother.
While comforting my sister on the phone, it dawned on me. As we grow older our bodies are slowly deteriorating. I think when we are younger, we have this wonderful filter from our brain to our mouth. As we grow old, it starts to deteriorate. I have seen this happen in elder friends, they become bold with their thoughts and speech. Hallmark cards, markets a card line called Maxine. Maxine is suppose to represent how as we age, we can pretty much say what we feel. This could be dangerous for someone like me.
As I count down the months before i become a grandmother for the first time, I realize there are alot of things I need to remember. Children and grandchildren do not really want to know what their parents think, if they are giving them a gift or help. They want their parents/grandparents to be this sweet wonderful person that is so agreeable. Most of all, they want to feel they are needed. They want to return the gift of help/love, that their parents so generously gave to them. SO, note to self. Never tell my kids I don't like the gift they give me. Just smile and say something positive about the gift.